Dress: Forever21, Leather Jacket: Self Designed, Belt: Vero Moda,
Kickass Power-Ring: Avrom Jewels, Heels: Lulu&Sky
A belated Happy Halloween, y’all!
I’ve been meaning to write this post for quite a few days now, but this one’s a little difficult for me. Never the less, I really do want to share this with you guys. And here it is!
Halloween is a celebration of the dead, for the dead. “It originated with the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain, when people would light bonfires and wear costumes to ward off ghosts”, says Google.
When I met my make-up artist -who’s fabulous, by the way (you can check her work out here)- we spoke about a couple of ideas and I told her I really wanted to do something that channeled my inner Goddess. The first two words she uttered fit right in for me. She said ‘Warrior Princess’. And that is just so true for me, since I’ve always viewed myself as one.
You see, up until a year back, I was depressed. I suffered from insomnia and constantly battled with myself for my life because every fibre within me wanted me to take my life. Even a simple task such as cooking instant noodles was proving to be extremely difficult because the mere sight of the scissor that I used to cut the packet open ignited a desire to slit my wrist open. And people kept telling me I was doing nothing with my life since all I did was read or watch series/movies online all day. But little did they know, that numb state was what kept me going. I kept feeling I was the only one, and I kept feeling no one would understand. So I didn’t tell anyone, up until a point when I realised I needed help.
So I told a friend, then another. They said they understood, that they were there for me, and I felt better. I then told some more people, who seemed to understand, but only momentarily. And then even the friends who said they understood turned against me. That’s when I hit the rock bottom. And I decided that night that I would never tell anyone again. I also decided that I would grow from that state no matter what. If it was my mind that kept me so sad, only my mind could make me happy. So I took conscious efforts. I focused on helping myself. And to be very honest, this blog helped too.
I fought for myself, and I emerged as a victor. That is why the warrior princess resonated with me. My depression is the only ghost I know I will fight again and again because it temporarily resurfaces now and then. But I know for a fact, that I will get through. No matter what.
If you’re reading this and you know what I’m talking about, if you feel you’re the only one going through this endless state, you’re not. Yes, your experience and reasons are unique and only yours, but I bet you you’re not alone. In this feeling of helplessness, this state where you cry and bawl your eyes out for no reason, you’re not alone. If you’ve been battling for your life and seem to be losing it, get help. I’m a hundred percent sure you know if you’re depressed. Don’t let anyone, and I mean anyone tell you it’s just a phase and it will pass. Because it won’t. If you accept that, it will stay. You must fight it. And I promise you the fight is worth it. I am here after all, right?
If any of y’all ever want to speak about your state with me, you can write to me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I swear, it will remain between us.
Thank you for contributing hugely to my life.
Until next time, xoxo.