If you’ve been following my Instagram, you’ll have read my post on how I’ve been subconsciously trying to write about mental health and where I stand today with it.
Each of us go through phases. Some good, some bad. But who we are is a reflection of what we’ve learnt and implemented. I was someone who had become emotionally unavailable to people due to past experiences. I’d hold up and harbour feelings because I thought expressing them would either be weak or unnecessary. And what that did, was let so much space for negativity to hole up within me that I got into a vicious cycle of holding onto the littlest of things, and that made me bitter- only I didn’t realise.
A few months ago, I sat to evaluate what was going on with me. And the moment I realised this, I knew I had to change, to release and let go. I also knew that if someone indeed did matter to me, it was important to be vulnerable around them and express. It was okay to speak my heart. I would either gain a better relationship or know that it had to be let go of. It’s still difficult for me, but through conscious efforts, I have made progress.
Little did I know, this little (major) step changed so much for me. By being vulnerable time and again with the right people (and some wrong), I kind of got over the fear of it. It strengthened some relations and gave me direction to take action on some relations. I also began to be vulnerable within myself.
I began to accept things instead of making excuses. I could now detach myself from situations and look at them with an outsiders point of view, which lead to better decisions. Isn’t it strange, how one little step could change so many things? Add so much more value to my life? Release negativity and let me breathe in love?
Honestly, I feel every single time I’ve felt my self-love is at its peak, the mountain gets higher. And I love it so goddamn much- that euphoria after the struggle, the contentment after the hustle.
I urge you, reflect within yourself. Find what’s holding you back and change it. One little conscious step could domino all your problems down. Be naked with yourself.
Much love to you guys!